Leading with Humanity
It’s been another tough week for compassion. Every morning when I check the news, I see more stories of suffering. Admittedly, it feels jarring to be writing about compassion when so much harm continues to be perpetrated by those abusing their positions of power - for example the police brutality at student protests against the continued ethnic cleansing of Palestinians in Gaza. But these are the times that compassion for one another is needed the most. Because compassion induces in us a prosocial orientation which “allows us to cross the chasm of otherness” (Ledoux, 2005, p.2047). So without compassion motivating us to act, we cannot create positive social change.
Students and faculty have been harmed (and in some cases hospitalised) this week following violent arrests of peaceful protesters by militarised, armed police.
Last month I touched upon this idea that compassion spurs us to action. When we observe suffering, we are physiologically primed to reduce that suffering - back when we lived in small social groups, doing so aided the chances of our survival (de Waal, 2009; Gilbert, 2005; 2010). That desire to alleviate the pain and suffering that we witness is still with us today.
However, when faced with an onslaught of global crises - all competing for our attention and action - and limited personal resources to provide the help we believe is needed, compassion fatigue becomes a very real concern. Repeated exposure to the trauma and suffering of others, can lead to a particular form of burnout or ‘moral distress’ that is both emotional and physical in nature (Austin et al., 2009; Burtson & Stichler, 2010). Compassion fatigue is most commonly experienced by frontline workers such as healthcare workers, social workers, aid workers, and caregivers. However, I argue that we can all experience compassion fatigue during periods of acute societal instability.
So how do we avoid compassion fatigue? In these instances, we need help to actively build our empathetic reserves, we need help to channel our compassion, we need help to decide when and how to act: we need the help of a compassionate leader.
“You cannot swim for new horizons until you have courage to lose sight of the shore”
William Faulkner
During times of upheaval and uncertainty, we often look to others for behavioural guidance (Tajfel & Turner, 1979). This is where leadership plays a significant role in shaping how we think, feel, and act. For me, I look to leaders who demonstrate compassion.
Compassionate leadership is a specific style of leadership that prioritises empathy, understanding, and kindness towards those we are responsible for, and those we are answerable to. Rather than focusing on achieving an outcome at any cost, compassionate leaders foster a supportive environment where individuals feel valued, respected, and motivated to contribute their best (Hougaard & Carter, 2022). These types of leaders often adopt a mindset of service, prioritising the needs of their team members above their own ambitions or goals.
But being a compassionate leader is more than just leading with one’s humanity, it involves making difficult decisions, standing up for what is right, and sometimes walking a hard path. It requires courage, and wisdom (Hougaard & Carter, 2022; Scott, 2019). It is a gross misconception that leaders have to choose between being human and doing the hard things - you can, in fact, do both. I often think of figures that embody these qualities and hold the torch for positive social change; from pioneering historical leaders such as Dr Martin Luther King Jr. and Nelson Mandela, to modern leaders like Malala Yousafzai, and Jacinda Ardern - who continue to show the world that compassion has an integral place in leadership.
“One of the criticisms I've faced over the years is that I'm not aggressive enough or assertive enough, or maybe somehow, because I'm empathetic, it means I'm weak. I totally rebel against that. I refuse to believe that you cannot be both compassionate and strong”
Jacinda Ardern, former Prime Minister of New Zealand
This week we have seen compassionate leadership on display at the student-led protests taking place on campuses across the US. Faculty and professors have lent their support to protests which seek to take action against genocide, prioritising the needs of their students in true servant leadership fashion. These leaders are demonstrating compassion and simultaneously putting their bodies and careers on the line to do the morally right thing. I look at these individuals and feel hope.
And this is the magic of compassionate leaders: they steep you in hope and jolt you into action.
If you’re wondering what you can do in practical terms to lean into this type of leadership, don’t worry - we have you covered. With a little intention and effort, there are several, fairly straight-forward steps to building compassion into your behaviours with others (Jazaieri and Rock, 2021):
Be Present
Do you practice active listening when interacting with others or are you preoccupied with your mental to-do list? If you find your mind wanders frequently, engaging in mindfulness can help bring greater awareness and attentional control.
Practice Non-Judgment
Do you enter your interactions with others with unconditional positive regard? Do you have a deep sense of care and respect for them? Building your own self-compassion will work wonders here and spill outwards to those around you.
Perspective Taking
Have you put yourself in the shoes of those around you? Have you considered what it is like to be them? Perspective taking exercises can be simple yet wildly powerful, they build empathy and improve relationships.Maximise Similarities
As humans we naturally create social groups which diverge into ‘in-groups’ and ‘out-groups’. Most of all tensions and conflicts arise from the dynamics between these groups. To lead with compassion, focus on the common humanity that exists between us all.Set Intentions
Do you actively set intentions during your interactions with team members? Are these guided by your values? Try grounding yourself in your values and watch how your behaviour shifts to align with your intentionality.
In an increasingly chaotic world - where cruelty and suffering are rife, it is no easy feat to demand change, particularly when we face pushback from those wielding power. But as Ryunosuke Satoro reminds us:
“Individually we are one drop. Together, we are an ocean.”
Whether we are in formal leadership roles, are leaders in our local communities, are leaders in our friendship groups or families, or are simply humans called to brave leadership on an important issue - it’s up to all of us to lead with compassion.
References
Austin W., Goble E., Leier B. & Byrne P. (2009) Compassion fatigue: the experience of nurses. Ethics and Social Welfare 3(2), 195–214.
Burtson P.L. & Stichler J.F. (2010) Nursing work environment and nurse caring: relationship among motivational factors. Journal of Advanced Nursing 66(8), 1819–1831.
De Waal, F. (2009). The Age of Empathy: Nature’s Lessons For A Kinder Society. New York: Harmony Books
Gilbert, P. (2005). Compassion: Conceptualisations, Research and Use in Psychotherapy. Routledge.
Gilbert, P. (2010). An introduction to compassion focused therapy in cognitive behavior therapy. International Journal of Cognitive Therapy, 3(2), 97-112.
Hougaard, R., & Carter, J. (2022). Compassionate Leadership: How to Do Hard Things In A Human Way. Harvard Business Press.
Jazaieri, H., & Rock, M. (2021). Putting compassion to work: Compassion as a tool for navigating challenging workplace relationships. Mindfulness, 12(10), 2552-2558.
Ledoux, K. (2015). Understanding compassion fatigue: understanding compassion. Journal of Advanced Nursing, 71(9), 2041-2050.
Scott, K. (2019). Radical Candor: Be a Kick-Ass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity. St. Martin's Press.